Tuesday, May 24, 2016

82.) Patience is just remembering that, as soon as it's over, you're just going to wish you could do it all over again.

Friday, May 20, 2016


My parents have reached an age where they repeat stories so often that I've started to think of them as my own personal NPCs. It doesn't help that they occasionally give me some random task that does nothing to help me level up.

Monday, April 11, 2016


Damn it. Why is my movie I’m watching illegally online buffering so much? This isn't what I didn’t pay for!

Monday, January 4, 2016


I'm watching YouTube videos of the Rocking New Year's Eve concerts that I missed, and it occurs to me that music was better when ugly people were allowed to make it.

Monday, November 2, 2015


To be fair, we should have a holiday in November to balance out Valentines Day by making people feel bad about having people who love them.

Oh wait, I forgot about Thanksgiving dinner. Nevermind.

Friday, September 4, 2015


At 14, all my mom could talk about was how getting a girl pregnant would ruin my life.  At 34, all my mom can talk about is how never getting a girl pregnant has ruined her life.

Friday, August 28, 2015


Sure, by my age my grandfather had fought a war, bought a farm, married, and had two kids, but I've got a phone that plays music AND video games.  Who's got time for kids with all that on my plate?