Sunday, November 23, 2014


The dialog audio track on Interstellar was so bad that it was impossible to cam for PirateBay.  Nolan knew what he was doing.  Sly bastard.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014


Damn you election day!  I don't wait in line for anything that doesn't involve a very minor phone upgrade.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014


There's a very fine line between having your foot out of the covers enough to even out your body temperature and baiting the monsters under your bed. Even at thirty.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


I still answer my phone like I don’t know who's calling just to keeps people of their toes.  Dad?  Dad Who?

Monday, October 13, 2014


“Will you watch my web series?” is the new “Will you pick me up from the airport?”

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


If your email isn't written in a normal font size and color then the answer is no.  Every time.

Monday, October 6, 2014


“What’s your wifi password?” is the modern day equivalent of asking someone to move in together.

Monday, September 29, 2014

"Institutions will try to preserve the problem to which they are the solution."
- Clay Shirky, March 14, 2010.
Quoted and dubbed "The Shirky Principle" by Kevin Kelly from a speech delivered at the South by Southwest conference.

Friday, September 26, 2014


but seriously, are there any genuinely good people who own 70" televisions?

Monday, September 22, 2014

"Nothing is more powerful than a community of talented people working on related problems."
- Hackers & Painters: Big Ideas from the Computer Age by Paul Graham, 2009

Friday, September 19, 2014


You know how you lower the volume on the radio when you're looking for a street address so that you can see better?

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that was why my girlfriend always turned up her stereo before we had sex in college.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

76.) "Always be the worst guy in every band you're in."

In his phenomenal book of career advice, The Passionate Programmer: Creating a Remarkable Career in Software Development, Chad Fowler cites this nugget of wisdom from jazz guitarist Pat Metheny as a key principal for becoming a great programmer, adding "The people around you affect your own performance. Choose your crowd wisely." 

Surrounding yourself with more experienced co-workers and collaborators, rather than insisting on always being the smartest person in the room, is the best way of setting yourself on a trajectory of life-long self-improvement.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014


Texts: Awesome! Time to chat! 
Emails:  Wonder what they want?  Guess I'll need to get to that sometime to day. 
Phone calls: Oh God, who's died?  I can't take this today.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

75.)  Science may not have all the answers, but it has all the best questions.

Monday, September 15, 2014

"Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't."
- Bill Nye in a Reddit AMA, July 27, 2012.


Everything I know about parenting, I learned from carrying overpriced Apple products on the city bus.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014


Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot... or at least, that's what my girlfriend keeps telling me.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014


Outrage is far and away the best SEO.  You can slowly kindle a readership by spending hours each day lovingly crafting, then editing, meticulously-researched, carefully considered articles while waging social media warfare across multiple fronts to draw readers' attention.  Or, you can spend a few seconds being a complete jackass and people will flock to your site, even if just to tell you why you're wrong.  Sometimes, I think it's the jackasses who've got things figured out.

Monday, August 11, 2014


Those who fail to study history are doomed to repeat it.  And yet, those who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats it.  I'm not really sure which is worse.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014


I was lucky enough to have known both my great grandmother (who died at 93) and my grandmother (still alive at age 89) very well.  I only just missed knowing my great great grandmother, a full-blooded American Indian who was so old as to have no official documentation of her own birth, by a few years.  Here's some perspective I've gained from observing the generations of my family interacting:

My great, great grand mother grew up in a home without electricity, and eschewed modern technology until her dying day.  Her idea of a "night in" was a rocker in front of a fire.  My great grandmother loved listening to church sermons and gospel on the radio.  She thought "record music" was the devil's instrument.

My grandmother grew up listening to Elvis, in defiance of her conservative upbringing, but to this day, she bemoans the horrors of television.  She thinks that television is what's wrong with the world.  My mother and aunt roll their eyes at this, having heard the same tired rant since the days when Howdy Doody and Zorro were the only programming on television.  However, both my mother and my aunt have always held a hard-line censorship policy towards violent video games, and every time a mass shooting makes national news, the topic of video games is raised at the dinner table not long after.

My brother and I, of course, find this utterly ridiculous, but to my everlasting horror, during a conversation with my brother this past Christmas, I found myself vowing that I will never be the kind of father who lets his kids run loose on social networks.  We both went quiet when it slipped out, struck by the implications of what I'd said.  After an awkward laugh, though, we both agreed that social networks are what's wrong with the world today.

The moral here is that people consider new technologies to be a threat to their way of life.  Video games and the internet and just the latest in a long line of inventions dating back to the Luddite's socking frames that have been considered a moral outrage.  And they won't be the last in that line.  Expect new technologies to raise controversy.

Monday, August 4, 2014


Things every person should know: How to make something beautiful.  How to cook a dessert that brings people running. How to study.  How to pass a long wait quietly.  How to tell three jokes you wouldn't be embarrassed to have your mother overhear.  How to make a woman feel beautiful.  How to sincerely express gratitude.

Friday, August 1, 2014


Google Translate's Lead Scientist Is Going to Help Conquer Death. The only question now is, would you choose to be immortal if it required you to register as a Google+ user?

Thursday, July 31, 2014

74.) A person is never so beautiful as when they're discussing the thing that they're truly passionate about.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014


Somewhere between lust and true love lies the admiration of the geek for his favorite Vlog girl.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

73.) If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.

Monday, July 28, 2014


My parents put their old house on the market today.  I very helpfully rushed over to the website and left a comment assuring browsers that absolutely no murders were ever committed in the house.  My brother did the same.  I fully expect the house will be sold inside the week.


I am officially changing my voice-mail greeting to, "Just hang up and text me, dumbass."

Wednesday, July 23, 2014


I love the fact that it has become socially acceptable to wear headphones in public.  Headphone are like a very polite way of telling the rest of world to shut the hell up. ...No, I'm really not a people person.

Monday, July 21, 2014


I like all of the music on my iPod, except when it's on shuffle.  Then, I only like about one out of every ten songs.  I'll be damned if I can account for why.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


My car remote didn't work this morning, and I had to insert the key into the slot. I felt like some sort of goddamn barbarian all damn day long.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014


So, authors Jason Aaron and artist Russell Dauterman broke the news in an interview on The View that Marvel will be releasing a new Thor series in which Thor is a woman. Predictably, not everyone is pleased.

I think that these negative reactions reveal the absurdity of the values of some comic fans.  I mean, the reaction to new versions of superheroes that aren't white men is always disappointing, but it's hard not to laugh when you realize that these fans consider being a woman worse than being an alien horse.

Monday, July 14, 2014


I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to explain my childhood paper route to my kids one day.  Kids, daddy's first job was to wake up every morning and ride his bike around the block, delivering the internet thirty pages at a time!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014


This morning, I was watching the weather forecast.  The weatherman spent a solid five minutes explaining how the heat outside was like a sauna or a steam room.  I'm not sure if the guy was new to broadcasting or just very bad at extemporizing, but he just kept repeating himself.  I couldn't help but wonder what it says about our society that we need nature explained to us in terms of technology.  I mean, surely there are more people in the viewing audience who have been outside in humid heat than people who have been inside a sauna?  Come on, this isn't Canada.

Monday, July 7, 2014


Temperatures are on the rise and tempers, too.  Let this simple mantra carry you through the day: There is no Netflix in prison.  There is no Netflix in prison.  There is no Netflix in prison.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


Cellphones have forever ruined the fun of pushing people into the pool, and I'm not entirely convinced the trade-off was worth it.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

"You can't even handle a simple black/white dichotomy with regard to your perception of yourself. Black men and white men were tested on a simple golf putt. When told the test measures natural intelligence, black men performed worse and white men performed better. When told the test measures natural athletic ability, black men performed better and white men performed worse. Simply by activating a racial stereotype before the test, you can change performance.
Now how much do you trust your powers of introspection? What are you good at? What are you bad at? Where did your last thought come from? How the hell would you know given the myriad blinkers activated in your unconscious that set up the parameters for how you will perceive and perform? There is no perception without pre-ception."

Monday, June 30, 2014


Cellphones have forever ruined the contemporary horror movie.  Ten minutes in, instead of rooting for the heroine, I'm just thinking, "if the bitch can't be bothered to dial 9-1-1, she's got it coming."

Thursday, June 26, 2014

71.) Rich isn't about the volume of your wealth, it's the ratio of how much contentment you derive from the wealth you have.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014


Screw science.  When I die, I'm donating my body to science fiction, that's where the real breakthroughs are happening.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

70.) The best investment you'll ever make is in your own education.

It doesn't even have to be a financial investment.  Set aside a few minutes a day read a book on a topic that interests you.  Join a self-guided study site.  You'll never regret knowing more than you need to, especially on a topic related to your profession.

Monday, June 23, 2014


Whenever I come across the Facebook page of someone cute, and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.  Six hundred pictures?  Don't mind if I do! 

Twenty years ago, possessing this many photos of a complete stranger would have been a prime indicator I was a burgeoning serial killer. Today, it's ... well, today, I guess we're all burgeoning serial killers.

Friday, June 20, 2014

The Geek Girl Survival Guide

Arm yourselves accordingly to take on the world together.

Lovely girl geeks1, gather close: you are some of the most important people to the future of the world. You love to learn things, and know things, and make things, and do things. The things you learn, make, and do can change the world for the better.

But you’re probably aware that it can be pretty tough for a girl in any field of geekery dominated by boys. You might be held to different standards than your male compatriots; people might find it harder to believe and respect you; and you might be treated badly. But I want you to stick with it because I think you can make the world a better place if you do what you do best.

So here are some tips for you to get through those extra bits of rubbish that you get for being a geek girl and help other people get through them too. You’re still going to need to work really hard to get really good at the thing you love.

1. Be good to each other.

Make friends. Be a mentor. Ask for advice. Forgive people. Pass on opportunities to others. These are things that can never really go amiss in general, but especially be good to other women in your field. It can be really hard not to fall into the trap of being super-competitive and mean to other women, but it’s always worth it to create positive relationships.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

69.) If you feel a need to post a comment anonymously, take a moment to consider whether you should be posting the comment at all.

99% of the time the answer is a resounding NO.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


My favorite part of Twitter is saying something I think is really funny and then waiting anxiously while people fail to immediately validate me. 

Monday, June 16, 2014


Naming a blog is like naming a garage band.  It doesn't have to make sense, it just has to catch people's attention... and embarrass you years later when you're reminiscing about your youth.
"depression is like trying to peel a potato with another potato its not fun it doesn't work and you just wanna cry"
- Birdpear

"... and then people are like God! Why don't you just get a peeler!? And then they HAND YOU ANOTHER FUCKING POTATO."
- Osointricate

"…why is this such a good metaphor what the fuck"
- Shorm

Friday, June 13, 2014

Five Steps to Living a Remarkable Life

Five steps to living a remarkable life by Debbie Millman

What advice would I give a young designer in order to help him or her succeed? I believe that every goal is achievable and you can live a remarkable life by following these steps:

1. Work harder than anybody else you know.

2. Don’t rest on your laurels. Don’t rest on any laurels.

3. Constantly try to find out and learn about the things that you don’t know. It’s really easy to learn about things that you know. And it’s pretty easy to learn about things that you know that you don’t know. I would suggest that people learn about all the things that they don’t realize that they don’t know.

4. Many people start out by thinking about all the things that they can’t do; once you take that path, it’s very hard to get off of it. Try not to take that path. The only person who can make your dreams come true is you. If you start out with limited dreams, you’ll achieve only limited dreams. This is not a good way to start.

5. Do not compromise! Consider what you would do if you knew you would never fail, and pursue that as if your life depended on it—because it does! Only you can create a remarkable life for yourself. Only you. Start right now!

Via: Meghan P. Coleman

Thursday, June 12, 2014

67.) Your possessions will always expand to fit the space in which you live.

It's not particularly geeky, but I wish someone had told me this when I was young.  It's easy enough to move from a bedroom in your parent's house to a prison cell of a dorm room or from a dorm room to an apartment, and it's simplicity itself to move from an apartment to a house.  It's just near impossible to do it in reverse.  It's something to reflect on when the time comes to go off to college, especially if your post-graduation plans include living abroad.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014


I brought a girlfriend who'd never played D&D to a Friday night game once.  Three hours into arguing over character builds, she asked when the game was going to start.  I just turned to her, confused.  "What are you talking about?  This is the best part of the game."

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

66.) If you're starting more than one sentence with "Actually..." in a conversation, nobody likes you.

(A bit of advice that I wish someone had told me in high school.)  Nerds take note.

Monday, June 9, 2014


LOL was once a meaningful acronym, but now, it's just a way of saying "I have nothing else to say."
"Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart, then they have to deal with the bees."
- Sir Bombalot, August 28, 2013

Sunday, June 8, 2014


Lars von Trier is Writing a horror movie set in Detroit.  No word yet on whether it'll be a slasher film or something truly terrifying, like a documentary. 

Saturday, June 7, 2014


Robocop threw out the first pitch at Tuesday's Tigers game, so it's official.  There are no actual celebrities left willing to appear in Detroit without body armor.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Resource: The Best Commencement Speeches

The fine folks over at NPR have hand-picked the best commencement speeches available to read, listen to, or watch on the web.  There are three hundred in total, dating all the way back to 1774. There are some truly awe-inspiring words of wisdom contained in this archive.  Search the speeches by name, school, date, or theme

Best wishes to everyone out there in my readership who is graduating this spring, be it from high school or university!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014


Computers used to be cold, soulless appliances.  Now they're our most private, personal possessions.  I'd rather someone go through my underwear drawer than my hard drive any day of the week.

Monday, June 2, 2014


I sometimes find myself wondering things like how I would describe my modern day life to someone from the beginning of the last century.

I'd start by explaining that I possess a device that fits into my pocket that is capable both of accessing the entirety of human knowledge and broadcasting my own thoughts to an audience of millions.  Then, I'd admit that I use said device to look at silly photos of cats and argue with strangers all day.
"Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launch a bird into pigs."
- George Bray, March 22, 2011

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


Last night, I was watching this week's episode of Game of Thrones, "First of His Name," when it hit me all at once. Hodor is a man-shaped Pokémon.

A warg is just George R.R. Martin's version of a Pokémon trainer. Bran is off on a journey away from home collecting creatures in the "tall grass" beyond the wall, fixated on catching the elusive three-eyed crow that no one has ever captured before. He's traveling with two companions, a girl and a guy, and two loyal beasts, Hodor and Summer.

Martin is regurgitating season one of the Pokemon animated series.

Bran's storyline is officially ruined for me f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014


After nearly forty years living in the same house, my parents have decided that they're going to move.  I thought it was a great plan, until I realized that my parents are both secretly hoarders and too old to lug boxes down a flight of stairs.

I'm thirty years old, and for the first time in my life, I'm seriously considering running away from home.  If I could just find a hobo bindle large enough to hold what I eat in a week, I swear, I'd be out the door in a flash.  Unfortunately, I don't think that would end well for me, seeing as how I'd pretty much be a homeless guy dragging a body bag down the side of the road.

Thursday, February 20, 2014


Heads up! Saturday is Ragnarok. Plan accordingly. Dress in layers.

Friday, February 7, 2014

"the magical thing about books is you can never know which one is going to change your life"
- Tahereh Maf, February 6, 2014