Thursday, July 31, 2014

74.) A person is never so beautiful as when they're discussing the thing that they're truly passionate about.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014


Somewhere between lust and true love lies the admiration of the geek for his favorite Vlog girl.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

73.) If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.

Monday, July 28, 2014


My parents put their old house on the market today.  I very helpfully rushed over to the website and left a comment assuring browsers that absolutely no murders were ever committed in the house.  My brother did the same.  I fully expect the house will be sold inside the week.


I am officially changing my voice-mail greeting to, "Just hang up and text me, dumbass."

Wednesday, July 23, 2014


I love the fact that it has become socially acceptable to wear headphones in public.  Headphone are like a very polite way of telling the rest of world to shut the hell up. ...No, I'm really not a people person.

Monday, July 21, 2014


I like all of the music on my iPod, except when it's on shuffle.  Then, I only like about one out of every ten songs.  I'll be damned if I can account for why.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


My car remote didn't work this morning, and I had to insert the key into the slot. I felt like some sort of goddamn barbarian all damn day long.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014


So, authors Jason Aaron and artist Russell Dauterman broke the news in an interview on The View that Marvel will be releasing a new Thor series in which Thor is a woman. Predictably, not everyone is pleased.

I think that these negative reactions reveal the absurdity of the values of some comic fans.  I mean, the reaction to new versions of superheroes that aren't white men is always disappointing, but it's hard not to laugh when you realize that these fans consider being a woman worse than being an alien horse.

Monday, July 14, 2014


I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to explain my childhood paper route to my kids one day.  Kids, daddy's first job was to wake up every morning and ride his bike around the block, delivering the internet thirty pages at a time!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014


This morning, I was watching the weather forecast.  The weatherman spent a solid five minutes explaining how the heat outside was like a sauna or a steam room.  I'm not sure if the guy was new to broadcasting or just very bad at extemporizing, but he just kept repeating himself.  I couldn't help but wonder what it says about our society that we need nature explained to us in terms of technology.  I mean, surely there are more people in the viewing audience who have been outside in humid heat than people who have been inside a sauna?  Come on, this isn't Canada.

Monday, July 7, 2014


Temperatures are on the rise and tempers, too.  Let this simple mantra carry you through the day: There is no Netflix in prison.  There is no Netflix in prison.  There is no Netflix in prison.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


Cellphones have forever ruined the fun of pushing people into the pool, and I'm not entirely convinced the trade-off was worth it.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

"You can't even handle a simple black/white dichotomy with regard to your perception of yourself. Black men and white men were tested on a simple golf putt. When told the test measures natural intelligence, black men performed worse and white men performed better. When told the test measures natural athletic ability, black men performed better and white men performed worse. Simply by activating a racial stereotype before the test, you can change performance.
Now how much do you trust your powers of introspection? What are you good at? What are you bad at? Where did your last thought come from? How the hell would you know given the myriad blinkers activated in your unconscious that set up the parameters for how you will perceive and perform? There is no perception without pre-ception."